Stepbrother Bastard Page 8

  “Jesus Christ,” Cash crows, trundling toward us with the kayak in tow. “I should have worn some shades down here—that pale ass skin of yours is gonna make me go blind.”

  “Ha, ha,” Sophie replies, tossing her long braid over her shoulder, “Just wait until you’re an old, sunbaked, wrinkly dude at the age of thirty, and then we’ll see who’s laughing.”

  “He’s already a grumpy old asshole on the inside,” Luke puts in as the guys lower the kayak onto the dock, “I’m sure the outside will match before long.”

  Sophie zips her lips the second Luke jumps into the conversation, turning back toward the lake. What the hell is the deal with these two? Luke must have seen her pull a Girls Gone Wild at a college party or something, for all the tension that seems to hang between them. Hell, maybe there was even some kind of ill-advised hookup back at Sheridan. That would certainly explain things. Though the chances of two Porter-Hawthorne hookups—make that three, including our parents—seem pretty slim.

  “You got the keys to the truck?” Cash asks Luke, brushing off his hands.

  “What do you need it for?” Luke replies, handing Cash a set of keys to the ancient black pickup truck that lives on the property.

  “Need some more smokes,” Cash says, laughing at the grimace that crosses Luke’s face. “Sack up, man. It’s not meth.”

  “Oh, right. I forgot that lung cancer is real fucking manly,” Luke shoots back. “Forget sacking up—when are you gonna try growing up, Cash?”

  “What would I do that for?” Cash shrugs, “You’re already playing man of the house around here, isn’t that right little brother?”

  “I’m not playing at anything, you fucker,” Luke snaps back, squaring off against Cash, “All I’m doing is picking up your slack.”

  “What a good little boy,” Cash grins, punching Luke in the shoulder—just hard enough for it not to be a joke.

  “Don’t touch me, asshole,” Luke spits, his hands balling into fists.

  “Come on, lil’ guy,” Cash eggs Luke on, giving him a firm shove, “You still afraid to take on your big, bad brother?”

  Sophie and I exchange nervous glances as Luke’s eyes flare with anger.

  “I’ve always preferred fair fights, Cash. Clean fights,” Luke shoots back at his brother, “Not exactly your specialty.”

  I watch Cash’s jaw pulse with rage as Luke’s barb catches him. It’s the same look that came over John yesterday, while he and Cash were on the verge of fighting. For all their differences, it looks like there’s one thing Cash inherited from his father—a willingness to fight, and fight hard. Though maybe this wasn’t so much inherited as beaten into him. My heart aches, just thinking about what might have befallen these boys when they were small.

  “Guys, come on. Chill out…” I say, rising to my feet as the Hawthorne brothers face off on the dock.

  “Seriously, you’re being idiots,” Sophie adds, hurrying to stand beside me.

  “You girls just aren’t used to the way guys settle things,” Cash smiles coldly, his eyes fixed hard on Luke.

  “The way some guys settle things,” Luke corrects him, lifting his chin defiantly, “No matter the consequences. Right, Cash?”

  All at once, the playfulness goes out of Cash’s eyes. His gaze becomes steely, that sharp jaw pulsing even harder with raw anger.

  “Cash…” I say warily, taking a step toward them, “Could you please just drop this? You’re freaking me out.”

  “Yeah Luke,” Sophie adds, joining me as I inch forward to diffuse the brewing fist fight, “This is nuts. You guys are brothers.”

  “In name, maybe,” Luke growls, looking at Cash with pure contempt, “But thankfully, that’s all.”

  “That’s the good ol’ Hawthorne name for you,” Cash grins, pulling himself back from the brink of losing it, with nothing short of Herculean effort, “It’ll stick to you like a motherfucker, even if it doesn’t mean shit.”

  Luke turns away from Cash, looking for the world like his brother’s just spat in his face. There’s a bad streak in the blood these brothers share—and I’m starting to get the feeling that it runs very, very deep.

  “Well,” Cash goes on, his ripped body still humming in the wake of the barely-avoided brawl, “I’m off. You wanna ride with?”

  My heart thrills for just a second at his offer…until I see that I’m not the one he’s extended it to. Instead, his eyes are fixed on Sophie, who looks just as surprised as I feel—though not as gutted, I’m sure.

  “Oh. Uh…OK,” she says uncertainly, her eyes darting first toward Luke, then toward me. “Yeah, why not. I haven’t really seen much of the town here.”

  “Great,” Cash replies, nodding at the truck waiting in the long driveway, “Though fair warning, there’s not much of a town to see. It’s kind of a shit hole, to be honest.”

  “Well, now I have to see it,” Sophie laughs, following Cash up the dock.

  I stand on the gently swaying boards, watching the two of them walking away together. It’s a perfectly innocuous outing, not the least bit charged—so then why do I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face?

  “I didn’t know those two, uh, got along so well…” I say to Luke, my voice hollow.

  “Mhm,” he grunts back, his jaw clamped shut. He stares as Cash leads Sophie to the pickup, and tries in vain not to look furious. He doesn’t seem too thrilled about their little adventure, either.

  “But you and Sophie,” I bait him, taking full advantage of his distracted state, “You two already have a history…”

  “What?” he snaps, whipping around to face me.

  “You know each other from school, I mean,” I go on. Looks like I’ve hit a nerve, here. And not a very concealed one, either.

  “Right,” Luke replies, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  He’s gone shirtless this afternoon, as well. His body is just as sculpted as Cash’s, though without the ink and occasional scar. But whereas Cash’s body seems to have been built up from combat, boxing, and MMA brawls, Luke’s is more finely honed. He’s an athlete and a Crossfit buff, I’ve learned. A star runner for the Sheridan track team, when he was an undergrad. In fact, that’s how he earned his scholarship there. When my artsy sister would have ever been in the same room as a jock is beyond me, though…

  “How did you guys meet? At school?” I decide to press him, sitting back down at the edge of the dock.

  “She never mentioned?” he asks, moving to stand beside me. I sense a note of disappointment in his voice.

  “Nope. We don’t really talk much, on a regular basis,” I inform him, letting my feet dangle into the water.

  “Huh,” he says, crossing his arms.

  “So, do you guys have mutual friends, or…?” I prod.

  “Actually,” he says, looking down at me, “I was her teacher. Well, TA.”

  My jaw falls open as I absorb this information. “You were her teacher’s assistant?” I ask him, agog.

  “That’s right,” he replies. “Don’t look so shocked. Not all the Hawthorne men are hulked-out neanderthals like my dear big brother.”

  “It's just…That’s not what I was imagining…” I reply, shaking my head, “About how you guys met, I mean.”

  “What exactly were you imagining?” he asks, a slow grin creeping across his face.

  “I’m sure you can guess,” I say, smiling back.

  “Not too hard to,” he laughs, rolling his eyes, “But you’re way off. Sophie was in the econ class I was assisting last semester.

  “Then why haven’t you mentioned that to anyone here?” I ask him. “Sounds to me like you’re hiding something…”

  “I’m not hiding anything,” he shrugs, “TAs only have a couple one-on-one meetings with their students during the semester. I just graded a couple of her papers. That’s it.”

  “You sure that’s not a euphemism for something?” I tease him.

  “Christ. Someone’s got a one-track mind,” he
replies, nudging me with his foot.

  “You didn’t answer the question,” I remind him, enjoying the camaraderie despite myself.

  “You Porter women are relentless, aren’t you?” he says, “I don’t know which one of you is the most stubborn.”

  “It’s a four way tie,” I say lightly.

  “Sounds familiar,” he replies.

  A silence unfolds between us, the jocular mood fading away as we hear the pickup truck start with a wheeze and take off down the driveway. It’s ridiculous to be jealous of Sophie for getting some alone time with Cash; ridiculous to be suspicious of his motives for taking her on a little joy ride…yet here I am, all jealousy and suspicion. What a charming combination.

  “I’m gonna take this thing out,” Luke says tersely, walking over to the single-seat kayak and lowering himself in. “Enjoy the peace and quiet.”

  “Thanks,” I say wistfully, drawing my knees into my chest.

  Luke grabs the paddle and pushes himself away from the dock. He chops at the water with strong, determined strokes, and soon he’s disappeared from sight around an outcropping of trees. For perhaps the first time since arriving here at the lake house, I’m all alone.

  I should be used to the feeling by now, having spent much of these past few years by myself in tiny apartments, tiny cubicles, the private world of my own grief that opened wide within my tiny self after Dad died. But, surrounded by all this huge open space, my own loneliness is amplified tenfold. Sitting beside the expansive waters of the lake, underneath the arching sky, among ancient rocks and trees…I feel smaller than ever. More alone than ever. But even so, I realize there’s only one person who could fill the massive void of my lonesomeness. And my little sister is currently riding shotgun in his truck.

  Perfect. Just perfect.

  Chapter Seven

  I retire to my bedroom absurdly early that night, claiming to have a headache. What’s truly aching is that bruised, beating muscle in my chest, but no one else needs to know that. This little vacation is almost halfway over, so why do I feel more tense and exhausted than when I arrived? I lay wide awake in my guest room as the hours slip by, and before I know it the night is nearly over, without my having slept a wink. What I wouldn’t give for a little stress relief of the kind Cash and I enjoyed that first night at the motel…

  Despite his avowed pledge to “make my stay worthwhile”, I’ve barely seen hide or hair of Cash since that first night we spent here. And trust me, I’d like to see all of that hide if I could get another chance. He said himself that he doesn’t give a shit about what our parents’ relationship is, so what the hell gives? Did he just lose interest in me overnight? I decide to consult the expert on all matters concerning my love life. In other words, I give Allie a call.

  “MaddieMaddieMaddie!” she squeals upon picking up.

  “What’re you, happy to hear from me or something?” I ask, flopping down onto the guest room’s twin bed.

  “Just a little,” she replies.

  “I hope I didn’t call too late,” I go on, glancing at the digital clock pulsing 3:00am in big red digits. “I was really just going to leave you a message…”

  “It’s never too late for my best friend,” she says cheerfully. I hear a far less perky, very distinctly male voice grumble in the background, despite Allie’s shushing.

  “Got a visitor?” I ask.

  “Something like that,” she replies. “Brian. Or…Ryan? I don’t remember. He just went to get a glass of water, so I can’t even fact check…”

  “God, I’ve missed you,” I laugh.

  “What, haven’t you had a slew of hookups since you broke the seal a couple nights back?” she asks mischievously. “I still can’t believe my little Maddie is all grown up and screwing random hotties in motels…”

  “Just the one hottie,” I reminder her, rolling onto my side, “And, uh…Not so random either, it turns out.”

  “Excuse me. What does that mean?” Allie demands.

  I bite my lip—an impressive feat, given how far my foot is jammed into my mouth. I’m torn between wanting to tell Allie everything about Cash and wanting to give her as few details as possible. She was more than supportive of my sexy one night stand, but what if she’s weirded out by what’s come after? It doesn’t bother me that John Hawthorne and my mom are…whatever they are to each other, but I can’t count on anyone else feeling the same way, even if that someone is Allie. I may just have to get a little…creative with the details.

  “You’ll never believe it,” I laugh dryly, “But the guy I slept with that first night? The one I sent you a picture of? He’s…uh…a local.”

  “Get out,” Allie breathes. I can practically hear her big green eyes widening into dinner plates. “He lives in that middle-of-nowhere town you’re staying with your family?”

  “He does, yeah,” I tell her—not exactly a lie. “I’ve even bumped into him a few times,” also, more true than not.

  “Has anything else happened with him?” Allie asks breathlessly.

  “There was another kiss,” I allow, my entire body recalling how it feels to lock lips with Cash Hawthorne, “But nothing else so far.”

  “What the hell are you waiting for?” Allie laughs, “Go jump those country boy bones while you still can!”

  “What about our little bet?” I challenge her, “It won’t really have been a one night stand if I sleep with him again, right?”

  “Do you honestly think I give a single shit about that stupid bet when the best sex of your life in on the line?!” Allie all but screeches. “What kind of a shitty friend do you think I am?”

  “So I take it I have your blessing, then?” I laugh.

  “You have all of my blessings. Every last one,” she tells me, “Who knows? Maybe this one night stand of yours could turn into your first relationship with a guy that actually turns you on. At all.”

  “What a novel idea,” I say sarcastically. But her suggestion sticks in my heart. I’ve hardly dared to let myself think the word relationship since meeting Cash Hawthorne. It doesn’t even seem to exist in the same universe as him. That’s the main reason I didn’t insist on the two of us just leaving this place together and carrying out our little affair somewhere else. If we were to continue things outside of this place, we’d be risking rushing into some kind of relationship. And knowing me, I’d mess it up immediately. As long as we stay here, united by coincidence, there’s far less pressure. Cash hardly seems like a relationship sort of guy. But if I’ve learned one thing this week, it’s that anything is possible…why not Cash and I as a pair?

  If he hasn’t already staked his claim on another Porter sister, that is.

  A soft, rhythmic tapping catches my ear as Allie mutters something to Brian-or-Ryan. This big rustic house has a vocabulary of taps, clangs, and stirrings all its own. I’ve been told to ignore them, but as this new tapping reasserts itself, I sit up in my modest twin bed. My heart starts hammering in my ears, much more loudly than the noise that’s set it off.

  Someone’s knocking at my bedroom door.

  “Allie, hold on,” I whisper into the receiver, swinging my legs over the side of my bed.

  “What’s happening?” I hear my best friend say as I make my way across the room.

  With my heart lodged firmly in my throat, I twist the handle and pull the door open an inch. The warm light from my bedside lamp falls through the narrow opening, illuminating a vibrant set of very familiar hazel eyes.

  “Maddie, are you OK?” Allie’s tinny voice asks as I stare up at my early-morning visitor.

  “I have to call you back,” I mutter faintly into the phone, hanging up abruptly as Cash pushes the door open to reveal himself.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” Cash grins his voice hushed. He leans against the doorway and letting his eyes travel up and down my scantly-clad body. I’m suddenly very aware of how tiny my cotton shorts and tank top really are, and cross my arms compulsively over my chest.

  “
What do you want, Cash?” I whisper, though my every nerve rallies at the sight of him.

  “What’s with the attitude?” he asks, cocking his head. A single curl falls across his forehead, and I have to force myself to keep taking deep breaths.

  “It’s three in the morning,” I inform him, “Normal people are asleep at this hour.”

  “And yet, here we are,” he smiles, taking a step toward me.

  Apprehension and anticipation war for control of my body. This is the first time Cash and I have been alone since our sultry kiss the other night. But we’re also surrounded by several sleeping family members who could discover us at any minute. I may have only spent one night with Cash, but I know that I can’t keep quiet once his hands are on me.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him. “It’s not…You know…”

  “What?” he asks, laying his hands on my bare arms, “Proper?”

  “Fuck proper,” I snap, “It’s just not cool of you, Cash. You’ve been straight up ignoring me ever since the first night we got here. You can’t just stroll on into my room and expect a booty call after—”

  “Whoa, whoa,” Cash says, holding me fast, “Slow down, Maddie. What do you mean I’ve been ignoring you?”

  I stare at him, unspeaking. Cash Hawthorne may be handsome as hell, but he is mighty slow on the uptake.

  “You’ve barely said a word to me in the past few days,” I spell it out for him, “You keep avoiding being alone with me, or even being in the same room with me. And this afternoon, you just ran off with Sophie—”

  “Well yeah,” he says, still not seeing the problem.

  “Well yeah,” I echo, trying to ignore the warmth of his hands against my skin.